we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
