dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
