I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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