I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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