What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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