You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
