it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
