the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
