you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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