Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you had me at cake vodka
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm like, not good at living.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
