Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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