Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
