Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
