It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
