I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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