Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
