Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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