Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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