Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize