Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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