Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
