3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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