You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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