I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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