what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
