remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
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Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus