its not stalking. its research.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.