SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
