This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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