I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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