Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
