I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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