I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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