I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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