Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
