The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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