Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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