One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
