Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
