Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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