my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
