i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
