i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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