my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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