Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
