I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I wear drunk well.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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