how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
