Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
