nut hugger
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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