roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
