i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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