Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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