clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize