dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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