This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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