Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
