dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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