I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
