her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
sex in a hospital.. check
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
