it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
