He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
