Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
