I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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