is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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