I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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