"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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